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Mariah Carey has opened up for the first time about her secret struggle with bipolar disorder.
The entertainment icon shared her ongoing battle with
People magazine, revealing she was first diagnosed in 2001 after being hospitalized for a physical and mental breakdown.
The busy mom of twins told
People she didn’t want to believe the initial diagnosis.
“For a long time I thought I had a severe sleep disorder. But it wasn’t normal insomnia and I wasn’t lying awake counting sheep,” Mariah recalled. “I was working and working and working – I was irritable and in constant fear of letting people down. It turns out that I was experiencing a form of mania. Eventually I would just hit a wall. I guess my depressive episodes were characterized by having very low energy. I would feel so lonely and sad – even guilty that I wasn’t doing what I needed to be doing for my career.”
Mariah has kept her illness secret until now, telling
People, “Until recently I lived in denial and isolation and is constant fear someone would expose me. It was too heavy a burden to carry and I couldn’t do that anymore. I sought and received treatment, I put positive people around me and I got back to doing what I love – writing songs and making music.”
“I’m just in a really good place right now, where I’m comfortable discussing my bipolar II disorder,” Mariah told the mag. “I’m hopeful we can get to a place where the stigma is lifted from people going through anything alone. It can be incredibly isolating. It does not have to define you and I refuse to allow it to define me or control me.”